Fraction friends

Jim Rohn once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

I find what Rohn says to be correct.  I think you are shaped from the environment that you are grown up in and the people that you surround yourself with.  It’s your innate ability to learn the habits and qualities that others possess.  While this can be a wonderful thing, it can also be a negative thing, depending on if these people have positive or negative impacts on your life.   

My family, my boyfriend and his family, my friends: Brooke and Jennifer, and my other friends: Myranda, Peyton, and River, are the people that I spend most of my time with.  These people have made me who I am and have definitely had an impact on my life.  I choose to not be surrounded by negative people, so everyone that I surround myself with is nothing but positive attributes to my life. 

Since day one, my family has taught me to be kind to the people I meet and be wise when making choices.  They have taught me right from wrong and to know the love that Christ has for me.  These qualities have become a huge part of my personality.  It doesn't bother me one bit because I know these are qualities that all should possess.  I’m very lucky to have been brought up in such a loving and friendly home. 

My boyfriend and his family are definitely my second family.  I know that I could come to them for anything and they’d take care of me.  From the very beginning, my boyfriend has been my best friend.  He’s always been there for me, along with his family.  You could say that we have, “rubbed off on each other.”  He’s taught me to not worry so much about the little and pointless things in life, but enjoy everything that comes my way.  He’s also taught me what it’s like to smile for no apparent reason.  My favorite part about us two is that we can act foolish with the other and not be embarrassed.  This is a part of him that I have accepted as my personality.  I feel like we have both made the other a better person. 

My friends, Brooke and Jennifer, have always been there for me, no matter what situation tries to step in our way.  We three have the type of friendship where even though we don’t hang out a lot, it’s like we never went a day without talking when we do.  I know I could tell them anything and trust them to keep it between us. Brooke is definitely the most carefree one of us three.  Jennifer is the one who will always keep a smile on her face, even when times get rough.  I have accepted both traits from these two as parts of my personality. 

My other friends and I are complete opposites, but somehow mesh so well.  Myranda, Peyton, and River are truly the best of friends that I could ask for.  Myranda would be classified as the, “hippie,” of us four.  She has her own world and creates her own trends and ways of life.  Peyton would best fit under the, mother figure category.  She’s the one who always makes sure we’re all okay.  River is our little singer and song writer who could make anyone laugh with her corny jokes.  We four together form one person.  Even though we all have our ups and downs, I wouldn't trade them for anything.  I have accepted these qualities as my personality.  

What deserves our fears?

Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

There is such thing as rational and irrational fear.  We as humans have different amounts of each.  Yes, deer kill more people annually than sharks do, but how could you not be afraid of sharks?  We base our fears on what we see as scary traits and the things that haunt us in our nightmares.  We base our fears on what we find different from the norm.  We even base our fears on people or events that happened in our past. 

Irrational fears- the ones that control you.  They stay in the back of your mind and affect everything that you do.  I think that most people’s fears are irrational.  People, including myself, worry about pointless things such as heights, their reputation, shark attacks, snakes, what kind of car that they’ll drive, what college they’ll get accepted into, etc.  The fears that are less important in the scheme of life, but play a key role.  Sometimes, fear is overrated.  We allow our mind to play tricks on us and before anything has even happened.  We begin to think, “What if?”  This then leads to the domino effect that causes an unnecessary amount of anxiety. 

A rational fear has a strong verifiable, basis in reality.   These are the ones that can keep us alive at times.  For example, my mother could have a rational fear of getting breast cancer when she is older because her mother had it.  However, she doesn't let this control her life.  Much less, she’s not sitting around waiting for it to happen either.  That’s the thing though; it’s what you decide to do with your fears.  Do you let them control you?  While some fears are necessary, majority of them are not.

If you’re a Christian, this is where your faith plays a key role in fears.  You have no control over your fate, but you do control how you spend the time that you have.  As teenagers, we don’t know our exact future, but we know what we want to do in order to make a great one.  We don’t know when we’ll die, but we choose not to worry about that and let it control our lives.  We don’t know who we’ll end up marrying, but spending our time wisely with the one who makes us happy in our lives right now.  If you think about it though, why is it that we understand all of this? We lean on God, not our fears and reality.  Even though I choose to understand the fact that God has my life in his hands, I still have my fears.  I have plenty of fears.  It's normal for human beings to have them.  

Of course, crimes and the abuse of drugs deserve our fears.  Losing a friend or a loved one deserves them as well.   Most importantly, what deserves our fears is the fact that hate, not love, is on the rise.  People are fighting with each other more and more every day.   Taking prayer out of public, institutional events is now a debate and the rate of Atheism is growing.  Basically, anything that blocks our ultimate goal in life, which is getting to heaven, deserves our fears.   

Whole Person Score

If life were to have a Whole Person Score (WPS), attributes that should be included should be spiritual, physical, and academic qualities.  These could be divided up in 33.33% each. These three qualities complement each other.  One without the other makes less than a whole person.  

Spiritual qualities 33.33%

- Involve their faith in a higher power

- The ability to be kind to others 

- Treating others the way that you would want to be treated

* The spiritual qualities are very important to me.  It shows that they are strong Christians and believe in treating everyone with respect.  

Physical qualities 33.33%

-  Being active, enjoying the outdoors, and exercising 

- Keeping up good health 

- Taking care of one’s self 

* Physical qualities are important because it shows that they have respect for themselves and believe in staying healthy. By taking care of yourself physically, you are enabling yourself to take care of those that you love and care about. You are also contributing to society because you are doing your part in keeping down health care costs. 

Academic qualities 33.33%

- The ability to do the very best that they can for their selves and their family 11

- Helping to educate others about bettering themselves instead of relying on others such as the government to take care of them 11

- Staying thirsty for knowledge 9

* Academic qualities are very important. It shows that one has the intrinsic desire to always do their best and learn more in life.  There's no limit in learning. 

Rating myself

- When it comes to spiritual qualities, I would give myself about a 28% out of 33.33%.  I need to work on my faith.  I gave myself a 9% out of 11 % on this one because at times I tend to forget that God is in control and has a plan for me.  On being kind to others, I gave myself a 10% out of 11%.  When I become stressed and angry with my life, I tend to take it out on others.  For the most part though, I try to be nice to everyone.  On treating others the way that I would want to be treated, I gave myself a 9% out of 11%.  Sometimes it's hard to remember that others have it a lot worse than me.  I need to work on realizing that if I was in a bad position, I would want someone to be nice to me.  

- When it comes to physical qualities, I would give myself 31% out of 33.33%.  I love being outdoors, exercising, and staying active.  If I'm not doing something constantly, I become bored.  I gave myself an 11% out of 11% on this one.  Keeping up good health is a number one to me and my family.  At times, I will eat unhealthy, so I need to work on that.  I gave myself a 10% out of 11%.  I do fairly well at taking care of myself.  I try and keep up a good appearance and eat healthy.  I gave myself a 10% out of 11%. 

- Academic qualities play a huge role in my life.  I gave myself a 30% out of 33.33%.  I put 110% in everything that I do.  What keeps me motivated is that if it's not an "A," then it's not good enough.  On doing the very best that I can, I gave myself an 11% out of 11%.  When it comes to educating others and bettering themselves, I gave myself a 10%.  I believe that I lead by example.  Even my friends know that I do all of my homework, I stress out if it's not perfect, and I try to influence them in a positive manner.  On staying thirsty for knowledge, I gave myself a 9% out of 11%.  I'll be the first one to admit that it's easy for a teenager to become lazy, especially when it comes to learning.  I need to work on this, so that I can keep my motivation up for learning more.  My generation is responsible for tomorrow's society.  

Letter to me

There are so many lessons that I wish I would've known before I was fifteen.  If I could go back in time and tell the younger version of myself what I know now, I definitely would. I would tell myself these things:

- You're not going to keep some of your middle school friends.  You'll eventually grow up and find that you have different interests.  You'll realize that you may be going on a different path than them and you'll eventually grow apart, even though you swore that you never would.

- At least one of your closest friends will change.  It will be the last person that you ever imagined.  Whether it's just a stage that he/she is going through, or they're trying to fit in with the newest style, they'll change and you'll grow apart.  It's going to hurt you a lot and no matter how many times you try and talk to them about it, it won't work.  You'll have to accept that this is the new them and hope for the best.

- You're going to make a "B" more than once.  When you're used to making "A's" all the time, a "B" is a hard thing to overcome and handle.  You'll stress yourself out over it.  You'll feel like it's the end of the world and you'll beat yourself up.  However, there are much worse things than this.  You'll have to accept it because it will happen again, even sometimes when you try your hardest.

- You're going to meet someone before you're fifteen. It will be safe to say that he's your first love.  You'll grow closer to him, due to your breakup with his best friend.  You'll become a part of his family and he'll become a part of yours.  He'll become your best friend, whom you can confide in for anything.  No matter how many times he makes you mad, sad or annoyed, he'll never fail to make you smile and make you the happiest girl in the world.  You'll fight and you'll say things that you regret, but in the end, you'll know that you wouldn't trade the other for anything.  You'll learn from one another and memorize the others ways.

- Spend time with your grandparents and your elders.  In the blink of an eye, something could happen to them and you'll regret not visiting them enough.

- Your dog will pass away when you're fifteen.  She will always be the family dog who everyone loved and who was a big part of your life.  She'll greet you every day when you arrive home, she'll bark incessantly when she sees a squirrel or a stranger, she'll accidentally pee in the kitchen and get in trouble, and even until her last days, she'll continue to love you uncontrollably.  Play with her and pet her when you see her, feed her cheese to make her happy, and don't ignore her when she wants attention.

- Your sister always will be the person that you can go to for anything.  Before she leaves for college, you'll fight non-stop and say harsh words to each other.  However, once she leaves for college you'll miss her more than anything.  Spend as much time with her as you can when she comes home.  You'll be able to come to her for advice and you'll be able to tell her everything without feeling like you'll be judged.  You'll have secrets just between the two of you and you'll always be able to trust her.

A New Stranger

He just came out of nowhere.  My parents let him stay because they knew he had a hard life.  God only knows why they took in such a dirty looking thing.  He's so cute though... He may be dirty, but he is so good looking.  The way that his green eyes shine just sends the hairs rising along my back.  I'd never admit that to anyone though. 

 I have a reputation to maintain.  Being the classy, elegant, and sophisticated creature that I am, it would be a disgrace for me to admit my feelings for this 'farm boy.'  That's why I act so hostile towards him.  I mean, my family just took him in as if they had known him for his whole life.  They fed him MY food and treated him as one of us.  I know I've made a few mistakes in my life.  One of them was by getting pregnant at such a young age, but I've done well since.  The kids are happy and fat and the family is doing great.  Everything was going well until he arrived.  

His name is Herman.  Whoever would think of naming their child such a ridiculous name?  My name, Dutchess, is far more appropriate.  He hangs out at the barn all of the time.  I wish he'd just stay there where his work is- taking care of the rodents.  Every night around supper time, he just randomly shows up at the back door.  I wish he would stay away so this wave of emotions that comes over me when I see him wouldn't occur. 

That arrogant strut of his and the way his voice sounds is so hot.  Sometimes I wish I could just pounce on him.  You know what, who cares what they think? He's here, I'm here.  I might as well give love one more chance... being that I am a cat with nine lives.  

Is God really punishing me for being a Saint?

Lately, I have a terrible streak of bad luck.

Last Monday, which is simply wonderful considering it was a Monday, I ran my sister's car battery dead by leaving on the lights.  It was the first time that I had driven to school since I received my learner's permit.  I came out of school and the car was dead as a doorknob.  Once the car battery was jumped, the radio wouldn't work because it needed a code.  WHEN DOES A RADIO EVER NEED A CODE? The next morning, my hair dryer decided that it wanted to blow cold air instead of hot air and blow only on low speed.  I went to use my mom's hair dryer and the next thing I know, it jumped out of my hands and into the toilet, while it was still plugged up! Directly after that, I hit my shoulder on a drawer and almost knocked the television off of the dresser.  Once that happened, I came to the conclusion that God was punishing me for some odd reason.

I'm a good girl.  I keep my grades up, I'm respectful to adults, I can be sarcastic, but I never mean it, and I pray for forgiveness and my family every night.  The idea of God punishing me just didn't make sense.  So, I then came to another conclusion that he wasn't punishing me, yet putting obstacles in my path in order for my faith to grow in Him.  That conclusion made a lot more sense.

This then lead me to think, why do bad things happen to good people? I know my streak of bad luck and the incidents involved in it weren't necessarily, "bad," because there's much more worse things in the world.  However, even the simplest of things lead you to think and question, "Why me?"

We live in a world full of hate, crime, and violence.  In the big world though, we each live in our own little worlds as well.  We get so caught up in having the perfect life, the perfect clothes, the perfect house, the perfect car, etc., that we forget to think of how some people have it so much worse.  When one little incident occurs, such as running the car battery dead, we can't help but think that it's the end of the world.  Why do we do this?

We're human, that's why.  We're created to be selfish human beings.  It's sin.  We don't realize how how well we have it until an unfortunate incident occurs.  It's like with the Bible; most of us only read it when we have lost our way and we feel as if our life is crumbling, not when we feel like we have it all together.

With my streak of bad luck came a huge realization.  It's true that we don't appreciate the life that we have until something awakes you from your perfect little world.  It's also true that bad things will happen to good people in order to get them to come back down to Earth. I feel as if my bad luck was my wake up call.  I need to start having more faith in God.  I need to stop being so selfish and realize that I already have more than enough.  I need to care for others a lot more than myself and I need to make more Christian-like decisions.  God wasn't punishing me. He was just making me realize how lucky I am.

"The Last Time" - Taylor Swift

***Although this blog pertains to a song and its lyrics, it does not go along with the 'music response' blog.

I recently purchased the new Taylor Swift, "Red," album.  I immediately fell in love with the song, "The Last Time," which features Gary Lightbody.

The song starts off with Lightbody singing about how a boy finds himself at a girl's door, which he has done many times.  He then says, "I'm not sure how I got there, all roads they lead me here."  I believe this means that no matter which direction that life takes him, it always leads him back to her.  I feel like many people can relate to this particular part of the song because almost everyone has that one person in their life that will always be a part of them no matter what.

What I gathered from the song and its lyrics is that this couple has had many ups and downs.  No matter where they go, they always find themselves ending back up with each other.  It seems as if the boy is causing the problems, although he does love the girl.  It also seems that even though the boy has made many mistakes in their relationship, a part of the girl strongly loves him, no matter what mistake he makes.  The girl continues to forgive the boy and she finally reaches the point where this is the last chance that she'll give him.

A part of the song that really touched me was the part that Taylor Swift sings- "And all the times I let you in, just for you to go again, disappear when you come back, everything is better."  This shows how she keeps forgiving the boy and every single time she is let down.  It's his last chance to prove to her that he really loves her.  

The song continues to another part that I can relate to.  It says, "This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong.  This is the last time I say it has been you all along.  This is the last time I let you in my door.  This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore." I believe this is saying that the girl is tired of being told what she does wrong.  She knows her flaws better than anyone else, just like every girl does.  She realizes at this time that this is where she needs to draw the line and tell him that she can't keep doing this.  She's tired of being hurt by the same person over and over again.  The boy then promises that he won't hurt her.  

There comes a time in everyone's life where you have to say, "Enough is enough."  Whether it's from stopping a bad habit, putting yourself and others down constantly, or in this case, being in a relationship that is no good for you.  A time will eventually come where you have to do what's best for you.  The girl obviously cares so much for the boy even though he continues to break her heart, which is reality for many girls.  I feel as if the boy truly loves the girl, but he leaves just so he can come back to her.  He continuously finds himself always coming back to this certain girl, maybe because in the end, he'll realize she's the one who he is meant to be with.

Love causes you to do things that you'd never believe you'd do.  It causes you to take chances, make mistakes, and have many learning experiences.  It causes you to become rebellious.  It makes an innocent child, wild.  It has the power to affect you in the strongest of ways if you let it.  I believe this song accurately shows the affect that love can have on one.  Not only this, but it shows that you have to go through certain incidents more than once to see them for what they really are.