Letter to me

There are so many lessons that I wish I would've known before I was fifteen.  If I could go back in time and tell the younger version of myself what I know now, I definitely would. I would tell myself these things:

- You're not going to keep some of your middle school friends.  You'll eventually grow up and find that you have different interests.  You'll realize that you may be going on a different path than them and you'll eventually grow apart, even though you swore that you never would.

- At least one of your closest friends will change.  It will be the last person that you ever imagined.  Whether it's just a stage that he/she is going through, or they're trying to fit in with the newest style, they'll change and you'll grow apart.  It's going to hurt you a lot and no matter how many times you try and talk to them about it, it won't work.  You'll have to accept that this is the new them and hope for the best.

- You're going to make a "B" more than once.  When you're used to making "A's" all the time, a "B" is a hard thing to overcome and handle.  You'll stress yourself out over it.  You'll feel like it's the end of the world and you'll beat yourself up.  However, there are much worse things than this.  You'll have to accept it because it will happen again, even sometimes when you try your hardest.

- You're going to meet someone before you're fifteen. It will be safe to say that he's your first love.  You'll grow closer to him, due to your breakup with his best friend.  You'll become a part of his family and he'll become a part of yours.  He'll become your best friend, whom you can confide in for anything.  No matter how many times he makes you mad, sad or annoyed, he'll never fail to make you smile and make you the happiest girl in the world.  You'll fight and you'll say things that you regret, but in the end, you'll know that you wouldn't trade the other for anything.  You'll learn from one another and memorize the others ways.

- Spend time with your grandparents and your elders.  In the blink of an eye, something could happen to them and you'll regret not visiting them enough.

- Your dog will pass away when you're fifteen.  She will always be the family dog who everyone loved and who was a big part of your life.  She'll greet you every day when you arrive home, she'll bark incessantly when she sees a squirrel or a stranger, she'll accidentally pee in the kitchen and get in trouble, and even until her last days, she'll continue to love you uncontrollably.  Play with her and pet her when you see her, feed her cheese to make her happy, and don't ignore her when she wants attention.

- Your sister always will be the person that you can go to for anything.  Before she leaves for college, you'll fight non-stop and say harsh words to each other.  However, once she leaves for college you'll miss her more than anything.  Spend as much time with her as you can when she comes home.  You'll be able to come to her for advice and you'll be able to tell her everything without feeling like you'll be judged.  You'll have secrets just between the two of you and you'll always be able to trust her.

A New Stranger

He just came out of nowhere.  My parents let him stay because they knew he had a hard life.  God only knows why they took in such a dirty looking thing.  He's so cute though... He may be dirty, but he is so good looking.  The way that his green eyes shine just sends the hairs rising along my back.  I'd never admit that to anyone though. 

 I have a reputation to maintain.  Being the classy, elegant, and sophisticated creature that I am, it would be a disgrace for me to admit my feelings for this 'farm boy.'  That's why I act so hostile towards him.  I mean, my family just took him in as if they had known him for his whole life.  They fed him MY food and treated him as one of us.  I know I've made a few mistakes in my life.  One of them was by getting pregnant at such a young age, but I've done well since.  The kids are happy and fat and the family is doing great.  Everything was going well until he arrived.  

His name is Herman.  Whoever would think of naming their child such a ridiculous name?  My name, Dutchess, is far more appropriate.  He hangs out at the barn all of the time.  I wish he'd just stay there where his work is- taking care of the rodents.  Every night around supper time, he just randomly shows up at the back door.  I wish he would stay away so this wave of emotions that comes over me when I see him wouldn't occur. 

That arrogant strut of his and the way his voice sounds is so hot.  Sometimes I wish I could just pounce on him.  You know what, who cares what they think? He's here, I'm here.  I might as well give love one more chance... being that I am a cat with nine lives.